Calista suppressed her emotions for many years, only to be consistently disregarded, much like an overflowing bucket, where adding more water would render her invisible. She acknowledged this to herself, and recently, her emotions have manifested in unexpected ways, prompting her to address the anger, fatigue, and nameless tragedy that have been building up. One afternoon, amidst another wave of despair, she resolved to take a different approach and genuinely feel her emotions, and now Let's take a look at how she did it.
Identifying the emotions
She settled into a quiet corner of her room and inquired of herself, What are my emotions at present? Initially, she was uncertain, feeling complex due to her prolonged neglect of her emotions, but she looked inward, focusing intently on a tightness in her chest and a constriction in her throat.
I suspect I'm experiencing sadness potentially more than is warranted, confronting it was frightening, but felt a sense of relief, like lighting a lamp in a dark room.
Authenticating the Feeling
Calista's initial response is to acknowledge that these feelings are unwarranted, while also recognizing that others may exacerbate the situation. She believes that offering comfort to a girlfriend in this situation is not only appropriate but also expected. It is reasonable to feel overwhelmed. The weight of these emotions is substantial, and they are genuine and significant. Upon hearing these words, Calista felt a slight easing of the tension in her chest.
Resting With the Feeling
Calista made the conscious decision to engage with her emotions, rather than resorting to her phone or work as a distraction. By allowing herself to experience sadness, she became attuned to its physical presence without attempting to escape it. The feeling was not simultaneously sweet and unbearable, as she permitted herself to sit with it for a prolonged duration. Consequently, she gained the insight that her emotions were not her enemy; merely the feelings that they elicited.
Processing & Expressing the emotions
After admitting her emotions, she needed a means to release them. She took her diary and started writing every confused and unexplored thought. She allowed the words to flow freely, without judgment. Then, she acknowledged her emotions and began singing a song that brought her to tears when she finished, she felt lighter, not because she had concealed her emotions, but because she had allowed herself to feel them.
Calista's emotions underwent a substantial transformation, as for the first time in a long while, they no longer felt crushingly heavy. She came to understand that her emotions, though potent, did not destroy her, and this insight was liberating.
Sometimes, the healing journey commences with recognizing one's emotions rather than trying to change them.
Which step presents a greater difficulty for you? Please comment below!
The Four Steps to recognize Your emotions :
Identify the emotions
Determine the label for your emotional experience. For example, if sadness is your current state, deeper reflection may reveal that loneliness is the underlying feeling.
Tip: Practice exercises that encourage introspection and stimulate curiosity.
Validate the emotions
Human emotions or feelings are complex, subjective experiences that encompass physiological and behavioral responses to diverse events, circumstances, or internal conditions. It is crucial to acknowledge that all emotions are welcome. By examining your emotions, you can recognize that it is acceptable to feel a certain way, and this acknowledgment will facilitate the understanding that these emotions are temporary.
Sit with the emotions
Allocate 5 to 10 minutes to contemplate your feelings. What physical, mental or emotional discomfort do you detect? What feelings are you manifesting and noticing? Consider any thoughts, express or showcase the memory. Sit with it part-time, suspending judgment or efforts to transform it.
Process and express the emotions
Emotional expression is crucial for emotional release. Several strategies can aid in this process, such as journalism, crying, diary writing, singing, or physical activity and spending time with a cherished individual. The actual transformation occurs when you intentionally move through your present emotional state during reflection.
Great, you did that!
The intricacy of this process: If you have carefully read this post, you may have forgotten that, indeed, it is that we have commenced with a person called Calista at the beginning.
The feelings generated by our emotions are embedded within us, providing the foundation for categorizing ourselves as good, evil, intelligent, or foolish, and revealing our proficiency, which is ultimately determined by our deployment of skills, in response to temporal, situational, circumstantial, and necessitous factors.
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